Teaching in a Pandemic, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and...Well, Stop Worrying

We're all at least a few weeks into teaching completely online, and institutionally , it is every bit the mess that we all thought it would be. Some faculty are adjusting well, others are adjusting in a hurry, and others...well, they're adjusting themselves. I'm sympathetic, though it's tough to maintain such an attitude when assisting colleagues unfamiliar with LMS technology usually means spending a solid 20 minutes getting them to focus their laptop camera somewhere other than their own laps. I will say that it is a big ask to get faculty unfamiliar with new-fangled technology like the internet to jump into it with only two weeks prep time at the most. They grumble, but they do it, and I think it's a testament to their dedication to their students.

Here's my advice, for computer-literate and illiterate teachers alike: don't give a shit. I stopped giving a shit, and things are going great! My students are happy, I'm happy, and frankly anyone else who has a problem with that can go suck a butt. The bottom line is that students and faculty-- of all levels of teaching and learning-- are experiencing something that hasn't been experienced for about a hundred years, if you're into the historical comparison thing.

College transfer destinations will not look askance at student transcripts with a P/NP on them. No, they'll see it, they'll look at the semester in which it was granted, and say, "oh yeah, GLOBAL FUCKING PANDEMIC. ok," and move on. Right now, I swear to all that is holy, the worst thing we can do is try hard, especially for people new to remote learning/teaching. In our current context, trying your hardest is basically like having one of those rigged carnival games in your living room, and you're required to play it nonstop for 10 hours a day. I don't know about you, but after about 15 minutes of trying to get that fucking ring around the fucking coke bottle, I want to go to the booth next door and grab a dart and stab myself or the person next to me, whoever's closest. 

So don't worry about your class, worry about your roommates/family. Because I promise you: if you haven't thought about killing them, they are definitely thinking about killing you. Your time is better spent learning how to make a tourniquet with your cellphone charger.

 

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